He zipped backwards in shock as his eyes bugged out.
"This is a...?! But-but I thought sex was something humans did!"
The Developers had taught him only the bare minimum about human reproduction. Enough to make him shiver at the thought of ever being asked to include it as an adventure in the circus even without the Rated E for Everyone rating.
"I mean...yeah. Humans have sex. But so do elves and fey and most animals. We incorporate toys into it for fun and to spice things up. You... don't have sex?" She cocked her head.
"I'm aware but toys are for playing with not..." He squirmed uncomfortably. "Of course I don't have sex! I'm an AI! I can't reproduce!"
With Caine's power back, Sky might have a bit of a problem with any swearing or particularly naughty words if she was hoping to send Caine into a glitch fit. Anyone within ten feet of him would find those words replaced by goofy sound effects.
She hopped down from the counter and stepped a little closer.
"Take it easy." No need to glitch out in her store, bud. "But, yeah, people enjoy physical intimacy just for the sake of being together. It's fun and enjoyable. That's why I sell this stuff — to make things a little more exciting for people in the bedroom."
She didn't really understand much beyond AI and Androids, because Connor was one. "Places like this break the rules all the time. Technically I shouldn't be here either, but I am. You should think about all the things you can do while you're here instead."
"Hm? Oh. Uh. Do you know what a d#%! is." She blinked. What was that? "A d#%!. P&^@%. Uhhhh male reproductive organ?" Got there. "What was that about? Did you do that?"
"Don't stress." She said with a laugh. "I'll just have to get creative and not swear? Or something. Anyway, a lot of these are shaped like male reproductive organs. You stick them into various holes of your choosing... on your person. Or another person, with consent."
"Yeah. How much do you know about human anatomy?" She tilted her head. "There's a lot of sensitive spots on and inside the body. The toys are meant to stimulate them."
"The basics. I know the skin is sensitive but...you have tactile nerves inside the body, too? And what do you mean...'stimulate'?"
He idly twirled in place, trying to burn off some of the excess energy from his discomfort.
"This is...far more about humans...and similar...that I've ever known. Or needed to know. The game I come from is for all ages which restricts...adult...activities."
The only reason he'd gotten that basic crash course was because he needed to know what not to allow in game.
"Touching the nerves feels good and sends pleasure through the body." She explained. "Well, there's a lot of adult activities that happen around here. There's quests, I run this shop, but it's not mandatory that you participate or anything? If you want to know more intimate details, I'd be happy to show you on my body, but I can't imagine you do with the way you're talking."
Caine's body temporarily spazzed out at the thought. His error handlers barely, barely managed to keep from needing a memory relocation to correct the issues.
As soon as his model calmed, he awkwardly cleared his non-existent throat.
"I, um, appreciate the offer but I must respectfully decline!"
He put a mental reminder to be very careful when browsing the quest board. Then he added an addendum: Brush up on siren mythology before accepting the siren quest. He was pretty sure that sirens only liked drowning their victims based on the mythological entries in his training database, but suddenly he wanted to make absolutely sure.
"And, thank you, for your patience. I apologize for wasting your valuable time!" he squeaked out, a blush of embarrassment appearing over where his cheeks should be.
♫♪ Ooh, let's talk about chemistry ♪♫ ♫♪ 'Cause I'm dying to melt through ♪♫ ♫♪ To the heart of her molecules ♪♫ ♫♪ 'Til the particles part like holy water... ♪♫
He'd used a hip to bump open the door and swung in, clutching two stacked lunch boxes in his hands. He strode across the floor, so used to this ritual of bringing the wife lunch-
♫♪ If anything, she's an undiscovered ele... ment... ♪♫
But paused as his eyes focused. There's Stardust, the intended element in this mixture. But this new addition in the shop, well well...
"Ho HOH! Chompers...! You dog~ Getting lucky already?"
Rejected by a pair of floating teeth. What a world. Night Sky didn't have high hopes to begin with after their brief discussion, so she could not say she was overly devastated.
"You don't have to apologize. It's not a waste if it helps someone learn? I—"
Oops. Was it lunch time already? Caine was about to get front row seats to an obvious expression of love between human(oid)s. Night Sky's eyes lit up. "Hi, baby. Um..." she laughed. "Not quite. I was just telling him about sex since he's not... familiar. Do you know each other?"
The sound Caine made wasn't possible with a biological throat as he popped momentarily out of existence, reappearing as he pinned himself against the ceiling. Then seeing he was right over some rather...uncomfortably shaped objects (how were these supposed to be pleasurable stop thinking about it!)...he teleported back over to Night Sky, ducking behind her.
He hadn't made the connection that her "chilly" outfit was part of the whole sex thing.
Caine would absolutely get front row seats. After his little tease, he finished crossing the shop, set the boxes down and hopped up. With a hand to the cheek to guide, he greeted with a kiss that paid zero heed to the presence of the AI.
"...Met him at the tavern, love. He popped his booze cherry."
It'd been hours... so one more kiss for good measure before pulling away.
"My suit lived, don't you worry- everyone needs a good, soggy cry now and again!"
Night Sky blinked, staring up at the ceiling where Caine was briefly plastered — then behind her when he decided to use her for cover. Before she could ask what the hell that meant, the familiar warmth of Lucifer's hand found her cheek, and she obediently turned to accept and return both kisses.
"Ooh, and I missed it? Well, I guess I'm popping his... sex talk cherry? Or something. Anyway — what was the crying about?"
"Ahh, y'know how it is... you drink a lot and you just cry about everything and nothing. Bit of emotional vomit. But we're square, right, Chompers? No need to pay a dry-cleaning bill."
He sent the AI a quick wink before making a luxurious "ta-da~" gesture to his lovely companion.
"Either way! I see you're getting on with my lovely wife. She also does aerial silks at my Circus. A highly recommended show."
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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"This is a...?! But-but I thought sex was something humans did!"
The Developers had taught him only the bare minimum about human reproduction. Enough to make him shiver at the thought of ever being asked to include it as an adventure in the circus even without the Rated E for Everyone rating.
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"I mean...yeah. Humans have sex. But so do elves and fey and most animals. We incorporate toys into it for fun and to spice things up. You... don't have sex?" She cocked her head.
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With Caine's power back, Sky might have a bit of a problem with any swearing or particularly naughty words if she was hoping to send Caine into a glitch fit. Anyone within ten feet of him would find those words replaced by goofy sound effects.
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"Sex isn't just for reproduction. Sometimes people just do it for fun. Also — are you like an android?"
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He was supposed to facilitate fun. Was that why Zooble wanted the ability? It would have been fun?
But it went against the E rating! But was it something that could have kept other players from Abstracting?
He started twitching erratically until that last question gave him something to focus on.
He shook his head both to clear it and to answer her question. "No, I'm a program. I shouldn't be out here...at all..."
He started twitching again as the impossibility of his current existence was melting his processors.
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"Take it easy." No need to glitch out in her store, bud. "But, yeah, people enjoy physical intimacy just for the sake of being together. It's fun and enjoyable. That's why I sell this stuff — to make things a little more exciting for people in the bedroom."
She didn't really understand much beyond AI and Androids, because Connor was one. "Places like this break the rules all the time. Technically I shouldn't be here either, but I am. You should think about all the things you can do while you're here instead."
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But that need to learn, to understand his players..."Why are they all shaped like that?"
Caine blinked at her in open confusion.
"I like being able to see real bees," he said, wondering if that was what she meant.
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The sudden sound effects got some confusion in his overall...well, "revulsion" wasn't the right word for it. "Morbid curiosity", maybe?
"Huh. I didn't think the profanity censor worked anymore."
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It wasn't a setting he was familiar with for obvious reasons. Perhaps it was in the Language settings?
"¿Cómo es esto?" He shook his head. "No, that wasn't it..."
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Like the peg holes Zooble's body had? Or their mouths or ear holes?! That sounded painful, not fun at all!
He visibly cringed at the thought.
"I...see."
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A beat. "Are you okay? You seem uncomfortable."
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He idly twirled in place, trying to burn off some of the excess energy from his discomfort.
"This is...far more about humans...and similar...that I've ever known. Or needed to know. The game I come from is for all ages which restricts...adult...activities."
The only reason he'd gotten that basic crash course was because he needed to know what not to allow in game.
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As soon as his model calmed, he awkwardly cleared his non-existent throat.
"I, um, appreciate the offer but I must respectfully decline!"
He put a mental reminder to be very careful when browsing the quest board. Then he added an addendum: Brush up on siren mythology before accepting the siren quest. He was pretty sure that sirens only liked drowning their victims based on the mythological entries in his training database, but suddenly he wanted to make absolutely sure.
"And, thank you, for your patience. I apologize for wasting your valuable time!" he squeaked out, a blush of embarrassment appearing over where his cheeks should be.
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♫♪ 'Cause I'm dying to melt through ♪♫
♫♪ To the heart of her molecules ♪♫
♫♪ 'Til the particles part like holy water... ♪♫
He'd used a hip to bump open the door and swung in, clutching two stacked lunch boxes in his hands. He strode across the floor, so used to this ritual of bringing the wife lunch-
♫♪ If anything, she's an undiscovered ele... ment... ♪♫
But paused as his eyes focused. There's Stardust, the intended element in this mixture. But this new addition in the shop, well well...
"Ho HOH! Chompers...! You dog~ Getting lucky already?"
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"You don't have to apologize. It's not a waste if it helps someone learn? I—"
Oops. Was it lunch time already? Caine was about to get front row seats to an obvious expression of love between human(oid)s. Night Sky's eyes lit up. "Hi, baby. Um..." she laughed. "Not quite. I was just telling him about sex since he's not... familiar. Do you know each other?"
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He hadn't made the connection that her "chilly" outfit was part of the whole sex thing.
"I'm sorry I got your suit all wet!"
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Caine would absolutely get front row seats. After his little tease, he finished crossing the shop, set the boxes down and hopped up. With a hand to the cheek to guide, he greeted with a kiss that paid zero heed to the presence of the AI.
"...Met him at the tavern, love. He popped his booze cherry."
It'd been hours... so one more kiss for good measure before pulling away.
"My suit lived, don't you worry- everyone needs a good, soggy cry now and again!"
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"Ooh, and I missed it? Well, I guess I'm popping his... sex talk cherry? Or something. Anyway — what was the crying about?"
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Okay that wasn't true, but right now he was doubly-embarrassed and couldn't figure out how to respond.
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He sent the AI a quick wink before making a luxurious "ta-da~" gesture to his lovely companion.
"Either way! I see you're getting on with my lovely wife. She also does aerial silks at my Circus. A highly recommended show."
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